just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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