That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
