and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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