All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
