Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
