you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
