I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize