I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize