i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm getting married
To pizza
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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