glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
