these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
