like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
