rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
