we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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