i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
