So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
