I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
