you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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