I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize