I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
