That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize