guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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