Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
