i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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