Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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