You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Randomize
