fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
