he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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