you turned your livingroom into a bong?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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