Just cropdusted the office
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize