i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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