checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
