we're blogging at a bar
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
