and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
