But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
