I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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