The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
