SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
