i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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