so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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