Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize