I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
