before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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