Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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