Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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