Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
