I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
