I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
