Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
