Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
