Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
