I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Panties = found
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
