Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
