why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
