Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
