I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
