from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize