well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
