Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The beer is more important than you right now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
