This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
