I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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