If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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