Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize