he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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