she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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