he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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