no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
