Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
