And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
