I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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