we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
