Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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