I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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