my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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