After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He passed out mid-signature
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
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