ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
