Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
